Home

I'm writing this from an airplane taking me back to Shenyang, not knowing which direction home is for me. For those of you who don't know, I recently went home to Pennsylvania to see my Poppop who is now in hospice care. I spent from Tuesday to Saturday back home and had the blessing of an opportunity to spend time with Poppop before I had to leave. Doctors have diagnosed him with stage four lung cancer and he has been having a hard time breathing. But throughout all of his pain, my Poppop has been a steady rock, ever faithful in his belief that he is headed Home. He is not afraid of the future because he knows what is waiting for him ahead. That kind of faith impresses and humbles me, teaching me that while life is precious, it is our belief in something greater that can help us through tough times.

Four full days with my family and friends was hardly "enough" but I cannot be greedy. One hour with Poppop was worth every minute and dollar spent traveling. When I was on the fence about coming home, it was my colleagues who told me stories of their loved ones' passing that helped me make the decision. Not everyone gets the opportunity to say goodbye (especially in the Foreign Service), and it's often only the funeral that one can make it home to be part of. For four full days, I am utterly grateful.

I left early Sunday morning, and I will get in to Shenyang late Monday night. I'm stuck here in the air in limbo, a middle place between two homes. No doubt Philadelphia will always be home to me, but in the two short years I've spent in the Foreign Service, Shenyang has become a second home as well. I've nested, learned the streets, spent winters and summers in this tiny/huge city of 8 million (in addition to the biggest factor of making tons of friends here). And soon I'll say goodbye to my present home in Shenyang, maybe forever, who knows. It's scary, but exciting, because the future is unknown but very much likely better than the present. It's up to me.

Though hardly equivalent in scale or life meaning, I like to think that my Poppop is also going to a future place, unknown but much better. He will enter heaven with the light of grace shining him forward, to meet his family living on the other side. There won't be any more pain or suffering. Although he won't be with us anymore in this familiar place, he will have a future of blessings and hopefully look over us as we continue our little treks in this big world.

I'm anxious about this period of time being incommunicado with my family. I wish I could be connected here but in the end, I know that whatever will be will be. Until next time, I sign off with the hope that my Poppop is sleeping a restful night with no pain, until he's ready to make his journey home.

In the early morning of Monday, September 23, Duard Glass, my Poppop, passed away. He was 80 years old.

Dear Poppop Glassie: I love you, forever. Thanks for the best birfday cards, lots of belly laughs, and being a great model of faith in my life. I'll miss you, but know that you're in a better place. Your Caroline

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