Oh, it's nothing special. Just my heart.

Foreign service life can be tough.

Aside from all the obvious stresses of living away from "home," family, and friends in an environment that is not your native land, there are some very personal stresses that come along with FS life.

Shenyang is my first tour and I haven't really experienced a full transfer season yet. Last summer cycle, I was home in Philadelphia on my first R&R and didn't have to witness the teary good-byes of the departing officers. Now, after a year and half at post, people who have become the foundation of my daily life are planning to leave. And it is truly leaving me sad.

I know that the Foreign Service is the right decision for me. The work, the life, the travel, the extraordinary people. But this having your best friends leave as soon as you get close to them thing is something I'm never going to get used to. I suppose if I got used to it, I would be emotionless, and that would be a bad thing. However, as I'm coming to realize day by day, I am feeling the pain of loss quite deeply.

My coworkers in Shenyang are more than just people I see in the office. They are my friends, there to share wonderful memories with. They are my floor mates, there to hang out and play MarioKart with. They are my dinner companions, to cook, drink, and laugh with over good food. They are my travel buddies, exploring the world with me one visa stamp at a time. They are my confidants, to lend an ear when I'm filled with questions. They are my mentors, providing sage advice to a newbie with a black passport. They have become an indispensable part of my being. And especially of my being happy.

The community at the Consulate is small, and therefore it lends itself to these homegrown, genuine relationships building out of necessity. The cold, long winter inspires people to be creative in finding fun, and over time our people have grown very close. I have heard other FS officers mention that you can never beat your first post. I say, amen to that. I can't imagine that I could make such great friends at every post I travel to. And if I do, then this saying goodbye thing is going to get old. Real fast.